Miscellaneous Miscellany

See? I knew the whole Cloverfield thing wasn't going to end even after the film has been released. The movie is a marketing goldmine the way it's configured, nevermind that the movie itself is nothing to shout about. There are lots of spaces for a prequel and sequels. And this is possibly the start of it: an online manga. According to the Cinematical report, it's probably about how the monster got to New York.

Now, after some thought, some questions were raised in my mind, like how, in the current climate in the US, a monster of that size could get into the country without being detected, when you could probably get stopped at the airport for wearing funny-looking shoes. So much for Homeland Security.

Also, people are going to start seeing things that are not there on screen, claiming to have sighted some hidden clues in the shaky footages.

OK, time to put my crystal ball back in the cupboard.

CUT TO:

I hate to admit this, but I was so curious, I actually paid money to see In The Name Of The King. It was my first ever Uwe Boll movie, and what an introduction.

Everytime Burt Reynolds and Ray Liotta appeared, I couldn't help but giggle like crazy. They look completely and utterly ridiculous in their costumes, especially Reynolds trying to look all regal and stately as King Konreid (his helmet is the single, most inspired piece of comedy in film history). Liotta hams it up as an evil wizard, and he's got this weird costume on, with upturned collar and blue scarf, sort of like a cross between medieval chic and Project Runway. Despite the earnest attempt, he still looks like a mob boss with that slicked back hair.

Then there's Jason Statham as a farmer named Farmer, whose son (luckily not named Son) is killed by the Krug, and his wife (luckily not named Wife) is kidnapped to be a slave.

This movie is a complete LOTR knock-off - the Krug look like Orcs, and there's even a character who looks like Legolas. What's more interesting is that Boll seemed unable to decide which of the one hundred and one looks to the film he wanted, and decided to use them all.

I walked out of the cinema after King Konreid's big death scene with swelling music, and I swear Reynolds looked relieved as his character snorted his last breath on the deathbed.

And just when I thought things couldn't get worse with Boll in the world, I got this piece of shocking news. Apparently the producers of an upcoming video game called Zombie Massacre sought Boll out to make a film of their game!

OK, I'm now feeling worse than any shaky cam in a monster movie can make me feel.

FADE OUT