Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Oh Boy, Another Remake

I used to have a regular column here called "Remake Watch," but I've since given it up, because it's a little silly to be keeping watch on an equally silly exercise of Hollywood's. Which kind of makes me sillier.

Quite a few shockers in the last couple of weeks. First off, I wonder if anyone else has caught that ad on TV, about Impak Maksima The Musical? I'm wondering if they'll have souped-up cars on stage doing races. Or maybe they'll have dancers and actors dressed up in rubber suits a la Pixar's Cars. What next? Jangan Pandang Belakang The Musical? Gerak Khas The Musical?

Then, there's Spielberg wanting to remake Park Chan-wook's Oldboy. With Will Smith, no less! Now, I happen to like early Spielberg stuff, like Duel and Jaws (which is a great adventure film, in my opinion). But he just started going downhill after Schindler's List, with the exception of A.I. Artificial Intelligence, but that's a Spielberg/Kubrick collaboration.

But Minority Report? And Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull?

There's been talk about a Hollywood remake of Oldboy for quite some time now. But now, having those two names attached to it has to be a shocker. My friend and I started to speculate what would happen in the Hollywood version's ending.

Spoilers hereon, if you haven't seen Oldboy.

Hollywood, and surely Spielberg and Smith, definitely wouldn't have the guts to keep the incest twist. So, perhaps this is what might happen:

Smith's character unknowingly beds his own ex-wife, while both of them have amnesia. After discovering the truth, they fall in love all over again and remarry. They live happily ever after, after Smith's character offs the guy who started him on the revenge trail, of course.

How's that?

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